Today I...am not a very graceful traveller.

Or...alternative title for today's post...Today I am in hell, and its name is LAX!

Depending on events leading up to a long journey, I often actually look forward to the "long haul" if for no other reason than, should I decide to be reflective, it gives me a lot of time to reflect. I am unreachable for many hours at a time. And, possibly I am just lucky or am an expert at employing "the power of the secret", but I am a very lucky traveller.

Today was no different. Today was a 24 hour journey. And on my journey today everything went precisely right.

Every flight (3 of them) was precisely on time. Turbulance was oh so mild. My luggage was precisely where it was meant to be, when it was meant to be there - twice. Food on Singapore Airlines was fabulous. Wasn't hungry on the Air Canada leg so no worries about their not fabulous food. I slept. For seven hours on the Tokyo - LA flight. I worked. I read.

And miracle or miracles...my feet didn't even swell!

However, in spite of all that, today was the most pedestrian, obnoxious, draining travel day!

4 airports. 1 of which was LAX. If you've ever transitted through there I need say no more.
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3 boardings. 3 de-planings.
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3 not so patient waits in long holiday travel immigration lines.
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1 long walk between terminals. The air in LA felt nice for the first 30.7 seconds. And then I proceeded to walk the 10 city blocks between terminals. That's right...if terminal to terminal transport exists at LAX there was a conspiracy against me because no less than four uniformed LAX employees told me "No ma'am. You gotta' walk." Not that I mind a walk when I've been on a 10 hour flight but...really?!? And for 99% of that lovely walk I walked past entrance after entrance after entrance to terminals 4 - 3 - 2 - 1...where all of the smokers are out having a puff.
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432 children who were well past their tolerance of the joy that is air travel.
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Teri is not so in love with the travel day!

In LAX alone I...

1. Had my calves crashed into by the fine, sophisticated traveller behind me in the immigration line so many times I finally took a very deep breath, turned to him, smiled, and very sweetly said "You seem a little impatient. Why don't you go ahead of me." And he did. He mumbled an apology, but he did take my place. Unacceptable! But I did not feel the need to cause a scene and get hauled into secondary. I was already miserable enough. I would not have been a good sport about that. In fact, I would probably still be there. And the Japanese couple who were then behind me were lovely and funny and helped pass the time.
2. Watched as, of the four immigration dudes serving my lane of about 200 passengers, three went on their breaks. Forever the optimist I expected someone to come take their place. But no. That would have made sense. Instead, one lonely soul was left to deal with all of us. Per usual I found the "weary smile" went a long way. He took one look at me, glanced at my passport and immigration form, stamped, and wished me a pleasant day. I am not sure if he was aware of the beautiful irony of that statement.
3. Waited a reeeeee-dic-u-lusssss amount of time for an elevator to take me up one level from arrivals to departures. There were no stairs. No escalator. No other way of escape. I was over-heated. I was tired. I was grumpy. I was desperate for the Maple Leaf Lounge. The elevator finally came. I got in. The doors closed. I Waited. And waited. I took yet another deep breath and prayed fervently that it was not stuck. And the elevator began to move. I could not get off that thing fast enough!
4. Went through security. I had forgotten that I was going through a US airport. I was wearing flip flops. I was going to be required to take them off. I, as you know by now, am moderately obsessed with having clean feet. I had some issues with this situation. I also had issues with the fact that they closed two of the four security lanes and created a bottle neck of epic proportions.
5. Was so flustered by the waiting and the lines and the near miss in the elevator from hell and the removing of my shoes that I walked through the metal detector with my cell phone in my hand. So was made to walk back, put my phone through the xray, and go through again. All the while in turmoil over the fact that I am walking through LAX security with bare feet!!!
6. In desperation for civilization and caffeine I went to Starbucks. God love Starbucks. The Barrista was actually even friendly. However, she did not secure the lid on my cup. I spilled latte all over my passport. I am such the International Woman of Mystery right about now!
7. Went in search of the oasis of the Maple Leaf Lounge. Ahhhhhhhhh. Tranquility....until I was turned away because of aforementioned Starbucks latte. "Ma'am we do not allow any outside food or beverages."

My response: "Seriously?!?"

Her response: "Seriously! Did you not read the sign on the door?"

My response: "You mean the door that is about as thick and heavy as a bank vault? That door? Apparently I was too busy balancing my laptop case, purse, carry on with fragile gifts, passport, boarding pass, and LATTE to notice."

And since they do not allow luggage carts once inside security and I of course was not travelling light, I turned around, pulled open the giant door that was as thick and heavy as a bank vault, and spilled more latte on my passport.

Needless to say, once I had dutifully finished what was left of my latte, I returned to the lounge, logged on to aircanada.com and submitted a most eloquently worded comment that essentially indicated how interesting I find it that they will allow me to spend an inordinate amount of money to travel with them but will not allow me to enjoy a latte in their lounge. I am sure I will enjoy their response.

And then I remembered my feet. But I was in an executive lounge. The bathrooms are great. I could take care of this.

Except in LAX. Where I walked around the entire lounge like a moron looking for the bathrooms. Approached the same lovely attendant at the desk and inquired where they might be.

Her response: "Oh. They're out in the main concourse, down the escalator across from the Starbucks."

My response: "Seriously?!?"

Her response: "Seriously."

Today I...am grateful for Purell Anti-Bacterial gel in regulation size bottles.

Today I...determined that no one who reads my blog speaks Malay

Today I...went to Malaysia.

That's right. I woke up. Showered (for the first time), had breakfast, and went to Malaysia. Just like you could do that any time the whim struck you.

And after passing through the rather intimidating "Woodlands Checkpoint" in Singapore - which looks startlingly like a prison where one would never ever wish to go - I started seeing signs everywhere that read "Salamat Datang". And I thought, where have I heard that before? And then I remembered the signs for the "pre-circumcision" party that my colleagues and I inadvertently crashed a few weeks ago. We thought that the party was to "Welcome Salamat Datang". As it turns out, it was just a bi-lingual sign. That's right. Salamat Datang means "welcome" in Malay.

Good to know.

Even so, I continue to believe the pour wee soul who was being welcomed that day was a boy because, again, it just makes me feel better.

Today I also got some amazing photos in spite of having far too little time to explore Melaka, one of the oldest cities in South East Asia. However, even if I had more time I don't know how many more photos I would have gotten since my battery died on the bus on the way back to Singapore as I was looking through the pictures of the day.

I love this exploring. This attempting to capture the life and the color and the spirit of a place. And - as I had FAR too much time on my hands on the interminable bus ride back to Singapore from Melaka (Malaka? Malacca? - You say Melaka, I say Malacca, lets call the whole thing off? They spell it at least four different ways...sometimes in the same brochure or web site) - I had to wonder...

If I went to my home and tried to look at it through eyes that had never seen it before, what would I see?

What unique, beautiful architecture?

What captivating human souls?

What quirky, funny, or unusual moments would I capture? Just because I was actually looking!

And I was thinking about all of the shots that I miss.

The deeply stirring, richly colorful monks who walk too fast and duck around the corner before I can frame the shot.

The hundreds of students in vibrant yellow shirts climbing ancient stone stairs up a brilliant green hill to the ruins of a Portugese church that I can't capture because of the obnoxious tourist trying to get a photo of his shrill girlfriend who keeps moving - in precise mirror image to my movements to avoid her - into the centre of my frame.

The ancient crumbling doorframe that I simply cannot frame without being crouched in the middle of the narrowest road where I am continually being honked at because, lets face it, I am continually having near misses with various scooters, motor cycles, lorry mirrors, or...my all time favorite...the near miss with the bus!

And then, of course as always on these excursions, the journey "home" took far too long and I had to keep reminding myself what an amazing day I had had.

And then we had dinner on a beautiful outdoor patio. In December. And I fell back in love with my life.

And then I remembered how spicy and sticky I was...and that I had used public toilets all day...and that worst horror of all...my feet were dirty!! So I came back to my room to shower (again) and tell you about my day.

Today I...really love Miller Harris Shower Gel and fluffy white towels! But more than that, I love that there are postcards from Malaysia on my desk just waiting to send messages home to a few of the people I miss the most.